Fempire Foundations: 12 Truths I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was a Teenager
Teenage girls have been on my mind a lot lately—not surprising, since they’re the reason the Fempire exists. This work began with a fire in my belly to help girls see their brilliance—to know their power and trust their own voice. And while my mission has since expanded to include women of all ages, that original spark is still burning.
Because let’s be real: it’s not just teenage girls who struggle to recognize their worth. It’s grown-ass women, too.
When I think back to my younger self—13, 16, even into my twenties—I remember how often I felt lost. Not on the outside (I’ve always been outspoken), but deep inside. That shaky sense of: Who am I? What do I want? What are my standards?
And if you’re like most of us, those questions linger far longer than we admit.
The truth is, girls aren’t usually taught to think about their own standards. Sure, we might make a list of traits we want in a partner, but rarely do we ask: What are my own non-negotiables and values?
We’re so busy learning how to fit in, how to be likable, how to follow “the rules,” that we forget: we get to write our own.
So, I sat down and wrote the 12 truths I wish someone had handed me when I was younger. Not just once—but again and again through the messy, beautiful process of growing up.
These aren’t rules. They’re not commandments or one-size-fits-all “you shoulds.” They’re a foundation for confidence, self-trust, and a life that actually feels good.
12 Truths Every Young Woman Should Know
1. Break the So-Called Rules
There are a million “rules” for girls—most of them made up by people who want you to be smaller, quieter, prettier, easier. Break them. Most are complete garbage.
Who made these rules anyway? And why are we following them?
Here’s the truth: Rules are optional.
All of them. Even the ones that feel like law. Sure, there are consequences—but I still get to choose. That’s real power. You don’t have to follow social scripts that were written to keep you small.
2. Write Your Own Rules
Once you realize the old rules don’t apply, you get to step into the most powerful truth of all: You’re the author.
You decide what matters. You define your values. You set your standards—not just for your relationships, but for yourself. What are you available for? What are you not? These are your boundaries, and they’re not up for debate.
Autonomy isn’t just about independence—it’s about owning the fact that your life belongs to you. When you truly claim that, you stop outsourcing your decisions, your identity, and your happiness.
Don’t wait for permission.
3. It Will Be Hard
When you are truly writing your own rules, claiming your self-authority and living on your own terms, it’s going to be hard. And that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re doing something that matters.
The real problem comes when we hit resistance and think, “This must be the wrong path.” So we pivot. We shrink. We settle. We follow more rules and make ourselves more palatable, shrinking ourselves to be “safe.”
But hard doesn’t mean bad. Hard means growth. And growth—while messy—is what brings us fully to life.
4. You Can Do Hard Things—But Should You?
Women are biologically built to do hard things. (Hi, childbirth.) But just because you can do hard things doesn’t mean you should do all of them.
Your strength isn’t measured by how much you tolerate or how much weight you carry. True strength lies in discernment—in knowing what’s worth holding and when to set something down.
You’re not here to prove your resilience. You’re here to live fully. Sometimes that means walking away.
5. Question Everything
Not sure if something’s true? Ask. Not sure why you’re expected to act a certain way? Question it.
It doesn't mean you have to do anything differently. You don’t have to blow up the system—but get curious.
Many of our “can’ts” are just inherited beliefs. Left unchallenged, they shape how we live. But most of them crumble the minute we ask: Why? Who benefits from this? And do I believe it?
Curiosity is the gateway to freedom.
6. Challenge Your Own Thinking
Don’t just question the world—question your thoughts, too.
If you believe you’re not smart enough, lovable enough, good enough… ask: Is that actually true?
Most of the time, it’s not. Or at the very least, it’s incomplete.
Your beliefs shape your life. So before you accept a story about yourself, challenge it. Because that voice in your head? She might just be wrong.
7. Discover What Brings You to Life
This is the one I want every young woman to tattoo on her soul: Learn what brings you to life.
Not what looks good on paper. Not what your parents want. Not what everyone else is doing. What lights you up? What energizes you? What makes you feel like you?
You don’t need a polished life plan. Discover what gives you joy, meaning, and purpose. Let that guide your choices. When you do that, the path unfolds naturally.
8. Use The Body Compass
Your body knows. Always.
A feeling of expansion? That’s a yes. Contraction? That’s a clue.
The Body Compass—a tool I teach my clients—helps you interpret those signals. It's a way to access the kind of wisdom that doesn't come from a textbook or a to-do list, but from your own lived experience.
Start noticing how you feel in your body around certain people. Around friends. Partners. In certain classes or environments. If you're consistently reaching for distraction—food, alcohol, your phone—ask why. Maybe you’re trying to create stimulation where something real is missing.
Tuning into your body’s clues doesn’t guarantee you’ll never make a mistake, but it does ensure your decisions are rooted in truth—not fear, pressure, or performance. And that builds self-trust.
9. You Don’t Need to Know Your Whole Life Plan
Our culture pushes young people—especially girls—to figure it all out early. What’s your major? Your career? Your five-year plan?
You don’t need to know. The brain isn’t even fully developed at 17. So why are we pressuring teenagers to have it all figured out?
Your career will likely have multiple chapters. You’ll evolve. And that’s normal. Your job isn’t to predict your entire future—it’s to choose what feels right now.
Focus on what brings you to life in this season. Everything else will come.
10. Know the Difference Between Real and False Pleasure
Real pleasure nourishes. False pleasure numbs.
Scrolling, shopping, drinking, hooking up—it’s not about shame. It’s about honesty. Ask yourself: Is this making me feel more like myself—or less?
Learning to recognize the difference helps you make better choices. And better choices create a better life.
We’ve gone deeper on real and false pleasure in past podcast episodes.
🎧 Related podcast episodes on pleasure:
11. Recognize Your Power
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
~Alice Walker
Most of us give away our power simply because we don’t know we have it. But you do. You have the power to choose—how you show up, what you say yes to, how you define success.
Power isn’t control over others. It’s agency over your own life. And once you recognize it, you’ll show up stronger, clearer, and more fully yourself.
12. Protect Your Freedom
Your freedom is sacred. Protect it fiercely.
Think of life as a hallway of doors. Every choice you make opens some and closes others. And while most decisions can be undone, some are harder to reverse than others.
So protect your right to choose. Delay closing doors you’re not ready to walk through. Keep as many options open as possible—until you’re ready to consciously commit.
Because freedom isn’t just about mobility—it’s about possibility. And possibility is power.
Modeling the Truths: Walk the Talk
These truths aren’t just for the girls.
If you’re a mother, mentor, aunt, teacher, coach—your influence runs deep. But girls don’t learn from what we say. They learn from what we do.
So ask yourself: Am I living by these truths? Do I honor what brings me to life? Do I question outdated beliefs? Do I protect my own freedom—or have I handed it away?
The most powerful way to raise a confident girl is to be a confident woman. They’re watching. And what we model? That’s what they carry forward.
Support a Young Woman You Love
If there's a young woman in your life—daughter, niece, student, friend—who you know would benefit from building self-trust, confidence, and clarity, I’d love to connect.
Through the Fempire coaching and private mentorship, I work privately with women in their teens, twenties, and beyond to help them claim their power and create lives that actually feel good.
Let’s help her build a life she craves—a life that’s fully alive.
Connect at liapinelli.com
