How to Stay Grounded When the World Feels Overwhelming
When the world feels overwhelming, and our nervous systems register threat, many of us reach for food, wine, or endless scrolling to cope. But there's a better way. This guide shares how to stay informed without being consumed, remain compassionate without collapsing, and make real impact without burning out.
A Note on Context: This blog was adapted from a podcast episode recorded during the January 2026 events in Minneapolis—events that had ripple effects far beyond Minnesota. What we are/were witnessing was heartbreaking, destabilizing, and for many people, deeply frightening. Whether you're reading this in January 2026 or years later during your own moment of crisis, this framework will help you stay grounded.
Your Nervous System Doesn't Know the Difference Between News and Threat
Here's what most people don't realize: when a crisis unfolds—whether it's in Minneapolis, across the country, or in your own home—your nervous system doesn't experience it as news. It experiences it as a threat.
And when your body feels threatened? It looks for relief.
For many women and girls, that relief shows up as:
Self-soothing with food or wine
Numbing out by scrolling
Overeating or shutting down
Whatever it takes to escape those big, scary feelings
This isn't weakness. This is biology.
But here's the problem: none of those coping mechanisms actually help you—or anyone else. They just drain your finite energy and keep you stuck in a cycle of helplessness.
The Privilege of Wallowing (And Why We Need to Stop)
I woke up this morning with that familiar weight on my shoulders. You know the one—it settles around your neck, makes you want to bury your head, drink coffee, and avoid anything productive.
Then came the guilt.
Lia, you're sitting here warm and dry. ICE isn't currently in your city. Your loved ones aren't being torn apart. What a privilege to just sit here and wallow.
If you're anything like me, that guilt triggers scrambling mode:
What can I do? Where can I go? How can I help?
And here's where most of us mess up: we start taking action without being intentional about where our energy will actually create impact.
Let's Talk About Performative Activism
I'm going to be blunt here: getting on social media and yelling your head off isn't helping anyone.
Reposting things to your echo chamber of people who already agree with you? Not making a difference.
Sharing your witty political takes? Performative.
I value being informed as much as the next Berkeley grad, but let's be real about what actually moves the needle—and what just makes us feel like we're doing something.
You Only Get 10 Units of Energy Per Day (Use Them Wisely)
(Spoonies, you’ll recognize this concept.)
Think of it this way: every day you wake up with 10 units of energy. That's it. When they're gone, they're gone until you sleep and start over tomorrow.
And depending on how you treat yourself today? Tomorrow you might wake up with 11 units—or 4.
A bunch of martinis and a whole chocolate cake most likely equals 4 units tomorrow.
Now here's the kicker: it takes energy to perform on social media. Energy to stay glued to the news. Energy to spiral into rage and helplessness.
If you actually care about making an impact, ask yourself: Is this the best use of my finite energy?
I'm not talking about energy in some woo-woo way. I'm talking about your actual ability to get up, get out of bed, and be a thoughtful, contributing member of society.
I guard my energy with my life. It's the most precious commodity I have.
The Self-Destruction Trap
Here's what happens when we don't protect our energy:
You feel powerless → You overeat, overdrink, or pick a fight with your spouse → Now you're focused on:
Your pants not fitting
Going on another diet
Repairing your relationship
And guess what you're NOT doing? Anything about what's happening in the world.
I'm not shaming you. This is literally the conversation I had with myself this morning. But if you want to make a real difference, you need to set a high standard for what you use your energy for.
The Question That Changes Everything
When it feels like you can't make a difference, ask yourself:
What can I do with what I currently have, where I currently am?
This question reminds you that you have power. You have a voice. And you can use them constructively.
But first, set your standards.
My Non-Negotiable Standard: Energy In Must Equal (or Exceed) Energy Out
Whatever I do has to be energizing, not depleting.
"But Lia," you might say, "somebody's got to do the depleting work!"
Absolutely. And what depletes you might energize me. What depletes me might energize someone else.
When we all work from our zones of energy instead of depletion, everything gets done—and nobody burns out.
The Two Biggest Energy Suckers (And How to Fix Them)
1. Over-Consuming News and Media
What I do:
Morning: Local NPR broadcast
Evening: 20-30 minutes of news with my husband (New York Times or PBS)
The minute it gets salacious? Turn it off
Non-negotiable: No continuous news loops playing in my home.
Being informed is essential. Being terrorized by a 24/7 news cycle is not.
2. Social Media Doom Scrolling
What I do:
Curate my feed aggressively
Tell the algorithm what I like and don't like
Pay close attention to how I feel while scrolling
Get off immediately when I feel myself constricting or going dark
I go on social media to feel informed, inspired, and entertained—not depleted.
If it's not serving that purpose? I'm out.
The Truth Nobody Wants to Hear
The people who care the most are not the most selfless.
The people who make the biggest impact are the ones who take care of themselves.
Here's why: I am the asset. My body generates the energy that allows me to take action and make a difference.
You want to know what fuels that asset?
Sleep
Nutrition
Exercise and movement
Loving relationships
This isn't self-indulgent. This is strategic.
This is the gas in your car. Without it, you're going nowhere.
Here's what I need you to understand: Caring for your own energy is the most important thing you can do. Not one of the important things. THE most important thing. Because without it, you have nothing to give.
And yes, even when massive atrocities are happening in our world—even when families are being torn apart, even when the crisis feels urgent and all-consuming—going back to caring for your energy is not selfish. It's not tone-deaf. It's the only way you'll have the capacity to actually help.
Get Quiet. Get Strategic. Get Specific.
Here's my process when the world feels overwhelming:
Step 1: Take a 10-30 minute break from social media and news.
Step 2: Go inward. Listen to your heart and that deep inner knowing.
Step 3: Ask yourself: What can I do that would actually move the needle?
Step 4: Take ONE strategic action.
For me this week? I signed up for an ACLU online event about what you can actually do to defend yourself, your neighbors, and your loved ones from ICE.
Something I can do from home during a Western New York snowstorm.
And then I let that be enough for right now.
Before You Say Yes to Everything (Don't)
I'm a very enthusiastic person. My default is to sign up for everything, then burn myself out, making zero progress.
So before I commit to anything new, I ask:
Which of these opportunities is:
Most energizing?
Most self-sustaining?
Something I can truly see through?
Then I choose that one. And I let the rest go.
How Women Lead in Crisis
This is what I want the next generation of girls to see. This is the legacy we're creating. When the world is on fire, how do women show up?
Water Without Structure Is a Flood
I love this saying: Water without a structure is a flood.
We need water. We love water. But it needs a structure.
Your energy is finite. Your energy without structure leads to burnout.
Give your energy a structure, and you become unstoppable.
The Path Forward
I truly believe that if we do this together—if we protect our energy, go inward to our deepest knowing, take care of ourselves, and then fight the good fight—we will make a massive impact.
Instead of helpless → Empowered
Instead of burnt out → Energized
For ourselves. For the next generation of girls, watching how we lead. For our communities.
But we have to be smart about it. We have to be strategic. And we have to stop burning ourselves out.
Your Turn
What are you doing to get involved? What questions do you have? How can I support you?
When women support women, we're unstoppable.
Email me: Lia@LiaPinelli.com
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