I'm a runner.
I became one last week.
I decided that I wanted to be a runner.
So I started running.
My goal was to close my green ring on my watch everyday.
I've missed a few.
But I've showed up for myself most days.
I used to tell myself ...
And yet I longed to be a runner because... well, why??
Why do I want to be a runner if I have all these shitty thoughts about it?
I want to run because I highly value being strong and fit.
Health, both physical and mental, is my top priority.
After having a baby years ago my priorities shifted and I no longer wanted to spend hours a day at a yoga studio or gym in order to attain my desired level of physical fitness.
I want to be able to get my sweat on quickly, close to home, and anywhere in the world.
That's my why.
Running fits that bill.
But I hate it, remember?
And then, two weeks ago I decided that I'd had enough of my bullshit thoughts.
In order to BE anything, you have to love the process.
That meant in order to to be a runner, I had to love running.
I didn't need to "learn" to love running.
I just needed to decide to stop thinking all those negative thoughts about running and just lace up my shoes and run.
On my runs I didn't practice any bullshit thoughts like "I love this!!"
I just ran.
Anytime an automatic negative thought came into my head I pushed it aside, telling myself that it was an old thought that we aren't thinking anymore.
And there were sneaky thoughts, too, like "I should run faster... I'm so slow this isn't much better than walking."
You know what those bullshit thoughts do??
Stop you from running.
I dismissed those, too.
I only allowed thoughts that inspired me to run.
I dismissed the rest.
And guess what?
About two weeks in I was on a run and I had a thought that surprised me:
I love this.
And I did.
I genuinely loved running.
I love running at my pace.
It's slow, but it feels good.
It #feelslikelove to me.
It doesn't feel painful or "hard" on my body or mind like my old thoughts purported.
I'm not producing excess cortisol in response to my run because it's too hard and painful.
I'm genuinely enjoying myself.
I'm loving myself.
Because I'm a runner.
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Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently.