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11/7/2018

Exceptions Vs. Excuses: How to tell the difference

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Eliminating sugar and flour is a total game changer when it comes to managing my hunger and overeating.

My body is no longer writhing with an overproduction of insulin, screwing everything up.

Planning and committing to a meal capsule has changed everything about the way I eat and the results I get in terms of weight loss.

Meal capsules and planning ahead have simplified my life in ways I’d never imagined possible and are now habits that I will practice for the rest of my life.

Eating food, mostly plants, not too much (as the Michael Pollan mantra goes) has become a way of life.

But of course, I make exceptions.

And learning how to make exceptions without derailing your goals takes time to master.

Because there is a difference between exceptions and excuses. ​

Learning the difference between an exception and an excuse is critical for weight loss, but also critical for accomplishing every single goal that you make in your life.

Our prefrontal cortex, the evolved part of our brain, is designed for executive functioning. Things like planning and judgement happen here.

When you use your prefrontal cortex to plan what you are going to do ahead of time you override your animal brain impulses to eat something that doesn’t serve you when the opportunity arises.

For example, if I planned in the morning to eat a salad for lunch, wrote it down, and committed to that plan and then a colleague approached me with fresh, warm slice of pizza leftover from a meeting, I am going to say no thank you.

​Because I already made and committed to my plan ahead of time and am prepared for temptations such as this one.


I would experience no, or very minimal, mental drama around this.

But if I hadn’t planned ahead, if I’d just had a vague idea that I might eat a salad but that I’d see what the options were/what looked good and decide then, my animal brain would’ve chimed in loudly:
  • Eat the pizza!
  • It looks so good!
  • You never eat pizza!
  • Just this once… come on…
  • You will work it off later…
  • Go for a run when you get home or hit up an extra power yoga class this week…
  • It’s no big deal…
  • Everyone else is eating it!
  • It’s your favorite-- combo! You never get combo...
  • Just one piece…

And it is very likely that I would, in fact, eat the pizza.

And then I would feel like shit.

And then I would spend the rest of the day obsessing about how I was going to “make it up” with exercise or by eating a “zero point” vegetable soup for dinner or planning to go Paleo or signing up for Weight Watchers, again.

All that wasted mental and emotional energy!!

All for a stupid piece of pizza that wasn’t even that great!

Or, even if it was pretty great, definitely wasn’t worth the mental aftermath.

Totally. Not. Worth. It.

And totally not me, anymore.
​

Exceptions vs. excuses

Your animal brain is a ninja when it comes to making very convincing excuses.

Planning a meal capsule and committing to it wards off those excuses and leaves you feeling well-prepared for the landmine of food temptations that are sure to be hurled your way each day.

But that doesn’t mean you can never have pizza again, if you want it.

You can.

As long as you plan it ahead of time.

That way you are using your prefrontal cortex to make decisions that serve you, and not your animal brain that tends to screw up all of your long term goals.

The difference between an exception and an excuse is that you use your evolved brain to make exceptions, and you use your animal brain to make excuses.

So go ahead and eat your favorite combo pizza.

Just plan for it and write it down 24 hours ahead of time.

And, this is the kicker, you have to like your reason for making the exception.
 
An exception is
  1. Deciding ahead of time that there is an experience you want to have
  2. Liking your reason for deciding to make that exception
  3. Choosing it intentionally

Ask yourself the following two questions to determine whether you made an exception or an excuse.

  1. Did you plan ahead of time to make this exception?
    1. If the answer is yes, move on to the next question.
    2. If the answer is no, you are likely making an excuse.
  2. Do you like your reason for making the exception?
    1. If the answer is yes, and you planned it ahead of time, then congratulations! You made a legit exception.
    2. If the answer is no, then you are making an excuse for sure.

For me, exceptions are linked to larger experiences like celebrating Christmas eve with my family while enjoying my mother’s seafood pasta that she only makes once a year, recalling decades of memories around the table together. Or making homemade fettuccine noodles with my father and son on Christmas day, watching as old, wrinkled hands guide little, smooth ones to turn the crank and sprinkle the flour.

I like my reasons to participate in this way.

No overindulgence.

No fetishizing of food.

No binging, frenetic eating, kid in a candy store wild child.

No excuses.

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    Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently. 

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