I see you over there.
Hiding behind your shield of shame and embarrassment from the perpetual cycle of overeating.
Your pants are too tight.
You keep pulling your oversized t-shirt out from the rolls in your belly when you sit down.
You feel like everyone is staring at you and your back fat.
You shift from hip to hip, uncomfortable in your own skin-- oversized and on public display.
And of course, spring is here.
Which means summer is coming.
And you haven’t lost any weight from that New Year’s Resolution-- well, maybe a few pounds but somehow they’ve found you again.
If only you could stop eating chocolate/ sugar/ carbs/ wine/ food...
I get it.
I see you.
And it kills me to watch you wither underneath your own discomfort.
Because what I see in you is a woman who is a game-changer.
Who is meant to be somebody.
A role model.
An example of what’s possible.
A woman who has so much more to offer than half-assed contributions that are choked by her own self-consciousness and self-loathing.
I see a mother and a leader who is ready to rise up and take her scared, confused, and overwhelmed self by the hand and make massive change in her life.
I see that in you.
And I am not wrong.
So I ask you:
What are you waiting for?
Why are you waiting to make a change?
Why not try something different than you’ve ever tried before.
If you want a different result, you have to act differently.
But you must act.
I can help you.
I have a program that gets results every time and clients who are losing weight as I type this.
My program will not only get you the results you are after, but will permanently end the food and weight drama in your head.
Imagine a life where you no longer worried, stressed, and fretted about what to eat and what not to; a life where you knew for sure your pants would fit; a world where putting on a bathing suit at the beach felt amazing!
What is that worth to you?
For me it has been priceless.
Some of my clients start losing weight the same week they start with me.
Some have taken a bit longer.
But every single one has lost weight and chipped away-- or slayed!-- their diet drama.
Every single one has been empowered by their own ability to make real, lasting changes with their relationship with food and the numbers on the scale.
There is a way out of the cycle you are currently in.
You can stop overeating.
You can stop overdrinking.
I can help.
Start by setting up a free mini-session-- there is nothing to lose there.
I know you are busy.
You say you don’t have the time.
But I’ll tell you, you don’t have the time for the drama about food and weight, either.
And yet you are spending tons of time on that shit.
Instead you can roll up your sleeves, learn something new, and be done!
Talk about a time saver.
But don’t take my word for it.
See for yourself.
Come dip your toe in the water with a free mini session and see how different your life could be.
Your freedom (and bikini) awaits!
In this post I am going to share with you one of the most powerful secrets to ending your battle with food and losing weight for good.
That secret is prioritizing exquisite self-care.
I’m not talking about making sure you are hitting the gym three times a week or getting your nails done (unless that kind of thing floats your boat-- if so, please be my guest!).
I’m talking about getting real with what brings you pure, unadulterated pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment, and committing to infusing that into your life.
What does this have to do with weight loss?
Let’s start from the beginning:
We women have spent so much time, maybe even our entire lives, trying to beat the excess weight off ourselves.
We've suffered through excruciating exercise regimens we hated and countless diets and cleanses that brought about significant anxiety and effort, in support of the belief that suffering is the only path to get the results we want.
No pain no gain, right?!?!
How’s that been working for you?
My guess is that if you are reading this, it hasn’t.
The notion that we have to suffer in order to get what we want is total bullshit.
The way to get the results you want isn’t through self-flagellation.
It’s the opposite.
When you care for yourself relentlessly, you lose weight and keep it off as a by-product of that nurturing.
Because the only reason you have unwanted weight in the first place is because you are turning to food to find pleasure, fulfillment and nurturing-- none of which food can give you.
But here’s the tricky part: you have to know what true self-care is for you.
Many of my clients have never spent the time to think seriously about what brings them fulfillment and pleasure-- especially if they’ve coupled up, produced some babies, and are bosses in their professional lives.
When we talk about self-care, commonly they think of getting a massage, getting their hair or nails done, or going to a yoga class.
But the thing is, these examples do not feel like self-care for everyone.
For example, while I love having manicured nails, I hate getting them done. I hate sitting in the nail salon, I hate the feeling (guilt, embarrassment) of someone digging funk out of my toe nails, I hate how long it takes and then having to wait for it to dry. I would rather be doing about 100 other things. Getting my nails done is not nourishing in any way-- I just like the result. I also see it as a professional obligation so it feels more like work than personal pleasure.
On the other hand, a really good yoga class with one of my favorite teachers is deeply fulfilling and nourishing for me. Magical even. Total self-care, hands down.
But for my sister? Not so much. Going to a yoga class would be uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking-- the opposite of self-care.
When you figure out what true self-care is for you and you incorporate it into your daily life you will find that you turn less to food to alleviate anxiety, stress, boredom, or unfulfillment.
People like to argue with me about this.
They think if they are kind to themselves, if they accept and love themselves for who they are and take themselves on dates and participate in restorative yoga classes and lounge around in their PJs all day on Sunday reading the New York Times while snuggling with their littles on the couch-- that they will turn into fat, lazy beasts eating cookie dough ice cream out of the tub after having eaten a wheel of cheese and guzzled a bottle of chardonnay.
So when they do do those things-- take it easy in yoga class, spend an indulgent Saturday morning alone with a good book or journal, or stay in their PJs all day-- their lizard brain has a hay day with fear based thoughts of self-loathing: “I wasted the morning. I’m so lazy. I should have gone to the gym. I have no discipline.”
And what do we emotional eaters do when we have self-loathing thoughts?
We head to the freezer for that tub of ice cream or that block of cheese, proving our lizard brain right.
Ready to indulge is real self-care, personalized for you?
Follow these steps and you will find yourself glowing with nourishment, instead of bloated with overeating.
Give yourself the gift of self-care.
Because you deserve it, because you are human.
And remember, the more self-care you give yourself that is unrelated to food, the less you will use food to nurture the need for self-care that all humans have.
Hey Mama Bosses!
In this post I'm going to talk about self-sabotage: what it is and how to overcome it using four simple steps to get you started.
Earlier this week I was talking with a client about self-sabotage.
She was frustrated and disappointed with herself the she had, for the millionth time, gone on a "high-carb" binge.
What had started as exception turned into a full-on three day flour and sugar fest that ended in a puddle of guilt, shame, and anxiety.
It started with dinner with a friend where she decided in the moment to eat foods she hadn't planned on eating.
She told herself that making this "exception" just this once was no big deal.
Afterall she has been "so good" and would get right back on the wagon tomorrow.
Yet when she left the restaurant she felt a nagging sense of disappointment.
But her disappointment wasn’t the same old brand of disappointment she’d been feeling for the last two decades.
This old version of herself would have been fretting and angsting over her looming weight gain.
Her lizard brain would be telling her that she was sure to gain weight from that one meal, that all her progress was lost-- reversed even, that she was destined to balloon into a gargantuan human so large that she would eventually implode all over herself causing a huge mess for her loved ones to clean up.
OK, these may be exaggerations, but you get the idea.
Our lizard brains like to have a hayday when we “slip up”.
But her brain wasn’t saying all that this time.
For the first time since she could remember the old story loop of fear of weight gain went silent.
Instead, the new version of herself had created what I call an evolved story loop rooted in self-awareness.
Her new story was one of disappointment in handling the controls over to her lizard brain and putting food in her mouth when her evolved brain, her prefrontal cortex, was screaming a very muffled “Noooooooo!!!!! You don’t want that!!!! Remember your plan???”
She was disappointed that she had given in to something she didn't really want.
She didn't really want to eat the high carb meal.
She didn't even really enjoy it as much as she had anticipated she would.
She was disappointed that she had "given in" to the impulse to eat it and that she hadn't managed her mind in the moment.
The next day, another temptation came her way and this time she felt weak and unprepared to manage the urge to eat.
All of the tools she had learned and had been implementing through our coaching sessions seemed to have gone out the window-- powerless in the face of old habits.
What she learned was that she had adopted a victim mentality about food.
She no longer worried about weight gain in the sense that she is no longer confused about what to eat in order to live at her natural weight.
Instead she is living a battle of two brains: her evolved prefrontal brain and her primitive lizard brain.
For us emotional overeaters, it can feel like food overpowers us.
We don’t feel empowered to make the choices that we actually want to make around food because we are operating under the belief that food is somehow stronger than we are.
The result of beating herself up after the "exception" meal with her friend was a weakened sense of power over herself and her food choices.
Remember how your thoughts create your feelings, which in turn creates your actions and then your results?
She had to get out from under her victim mentality and find her power over her own thinking about food.
Because food is neutral.
Cookies are neutral.
Chocolate is neutral.
Wine is neutral.
Fettucini alfredo is neutral (believe it or not).
It is our thinking about it that gives it power.
And therefore it is our thinking that has all the power.
Our thinking is what empowers or disempowers anything and everything.
You can start to work with your thinking and intentionally choose empowering thoughts at anytime.
This is not “positive thinking” or manifestation, but rather a method of managing your mind in ways that are based in results-driven action.
Admittedly this is seemingly more challenging that it actually is so I encourage you to check out my video to learn more.
Make today the day you finally put an end to feeling disempowered around food and ditch the diet drama once and for all.
As for my client? She is back in action!
Working her thoughts and slaying her relationship with food.
Life has never been better.
Let’s cut to the chase.
You are carrying extra weight that you would like to lose-- the sooner the better.
Guess what? There’s no shame in that.
The purpose of this article is to jumpstart your weight loss journey so you can begin to see the power you have over how you look and feel in your own skin and start making changes TODAY.
So let’s get started.
Step 1: Stop eating ALL flour.
Yup. All of it.
OK, right now, pause and notice what is coming up for you when I say that. Most likely you have a deluge of thoughts running through your head that are designed to freak you out.
Don’t worry-- this is super normal.
Take Action: Write down all those thoughts and questions on a piece of paper and title it “Parking Lot”. This is where they will stay until later. (I promise I will get to them in future post or you can always shoot me an email or leave a comment and I will be sure to respond.)
So, when I say all, do I really mean ALL??
Yes. I do. That is why it is in capital letters. ;)
This includes gluten-free flour, corn flour, rice flour, buckwheat flour, spelt flour, almond flour, garbanzo flour, ALL FLOUR.
Step 2: Stop eating all sugar.
Again, all means ALL. No honey, cane sugar, agave, sucrose, dextrose, maltose, brown rice syrup, high fructose corn syrup, nada.
You are going to have to read labels for this one and be sure to make choices based on the elimination of all sugars. Don’t forget to eliminate sugary beverages as well.
Why do you need to stop eating all flour and sugar?
In order to lose weight our bodies need to become fat adapted. This means that we want our bodies to start using the fuel (fat) we are storing on our bodies for energy.
In order for our bodies to access that fat, we need to lower the amount of insulin in our bloodstream. Everytime we eat (or even think about eating for that matter) we release the hormone insulin into our blood. When insulin is present our body is unable to use the fat stores it already has for fuel.
All foods are not created equal when it comes to triggering the release of insulin. Which foods release the most insulin? You guessed it! Flour and sugar. These two food groups trigger high quantities of insulin to be released, resulting in fat being stored instead of burned.
When we keep insulin levels low, on the other hand, we are able to use the our fat for fuel and find we are less hungry less often and have fewer cravings for sugar and refined carbohydrates.
For brevity’s sake I am over-simplifying here, so if you want to learn more pick up Gary Taubes’ book Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It.
If I Give Up Flour and Sugar, Won’t I Be Nutrient-Deficient?
There is absolutely no nutritional reason to consume sugar or flour. You can get absolutely every single nutrient available on the planet without eating flour or sugar, ever.
Eliminating flour and sugar is going to get many of you results fast, but it may not be easy. Most people are so accustomed to frequent and high doses of flour and sugar that they will experience some withdrawal symptoms for the first two weeks or so. Push on. You will get through it and on the other side of this discomfort is freedom.
Some of you might have to be dedicated and persistent for three or four weeks before you see those results. Again, push on. For encouragement and support sign up for a free mini-session with me and I can help you through it. I've got lots of tools, tips, and tricks that you can use to make small tweaks that will make the difference. That freedom awaits you, too, I promise you that.
Freedom awaits You
What is this freedom I speak of?
But also the freedom of living life without excess weight on your body, bulging through your clothes or over the top of your now-very-uncomfortable-pants.
The freedom of finding joy in putting on a bathing suit and heading to the beach without worrying about what your body looks like.
The freedom of feeling good in your own, beautiful, glowing skin.
That is the freedom I'm talking about.
Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently.