We all have numerous beliefs through which we see the world, every day.
Some of these beliefs are so old we were practically born with them.
They came from our our origin: our fetal and childhood circumstances, our parents, our culture.
Beliefs about family, security, money, love, emotions, food, politics.
Other beliefs we’ve collected along the way.
And we think beliefs are true, right?
I mean, that’s kind of what a belief is? ... truths based on evidence?
While beliefs are truths for those who believe them, beliefs are not facts.
Beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over.
And it becomes a belief.
All beliefs start as thoughts.
And all thoughts are optional.
As the saying goes, whether you think you can or you can’t—both are true.
If you think you’ll never be able to lose weight, you won’t.
If you think you will never meet the love of your life, you won’t.
If you think your ship sailed when you were 26, it did.
On the flip side, if you think you will be able to lose weight or meet the love of your life-- and you take action to do so-- you will.
The difference between the two thoughts is that the former is a limiting belief--one that prevents you from moving in the direction you want to go.-- and the latter is expansive, inspiring action that gets you the results you are after.
For example, if you want to have a more money but you think that money is a problem for you, that's a limiting belief.
Or if you want to stop binge drinking on the weekends but you think you’ll be boring without boozing it up with your homegirls, that's a limiting belief.
Limiting beliefs are those that steer you away from your goals and you think they are true.
Those thoughts, all those thoughts, are optional.
You might be saying, “But Lia, I have had the thought that I would be able to lose weight, I took action by starting a diet, and I didn’t lose the weight permanently. WTF?!?!”
The answer there is that you had the inspired thought but limiting beliefs came up along the way that thwarted your results.
Thoughts like “I’ve been good all week, I’m going to splurge tonight and eat/drink what I want.” or “It’s not working-- I’ve only lost 2 lbs in 3 weeks.”
It is these sneaky thoughts that get in the way of your goals.
The sooner you acknowledge those thoughts and treat them, the sooner you’ll get the results you want--and more.
When I learned that each and every thought we have is optional, I felt like I’d just been told the secret to the universe.
What do you mean each and every thought we have is optional?!?!
That meant that I didn’t have to live at the mercy of truths of my own making.
I get to choose what is true, for me.
How empowering is that?!?!
What are your limiting beliefs?
Where is your thinking holding you back from being the person you most deeply want to be? From living the life you crave?
I’ll give you a hint: most people have limiting beliefs around money, relationships, work, and health.
Identifying, analyzing, and eliminating your limiting beliefs is the first step towards creating the life you crave.
It is my hope that you take me up on this one.
Hey Mama Bosses!
In this post I'm going to talk about self-sabotage: what it is and how to overcome it using four simple steps to get you started.
Earlier this week I was talking with a client about self-sabotage.
She was frustrated and disappointed with herself the she had, for the millionth time, gone on a "high-carb" binge.
What had started as exception turned into a full-on three day flour and sugar fest that ended in a puddle of guilt, shame, and anxiety.
It started with dinner with a friend where she decided in the moment to eat foods she hadn't planned on eating.
She told herself that making this "exception" just this once was no big deal.
Afterall she has been "so good" and would get right back on the wagon tomorrow.
Yet when she left the restaurant she felt a nagging sense of disappointment.
But her disappointment wasn’t the same old brand of disappointment she’d been feeling for the last two decades.
This old version of herself would have been fretting and angsting over her looming weight gain.
Her lizard brain would be telling her that she was sure to gain weight from that one meal, that all her progress was lost-- reversed even, that she was destined to balloon into a gargantuan human so large that she would eventually implode all over herself causing a huge mess for her loved ones to clean up.
OK, these may be exaggerations, but you get the idea.
Our lizard brains like to have a hayday when we “slip up”.
But her brain wasn’t saying all that this time.
For the first time since she could remember the old story loop of fear of weight gain went silent.
Instead, the new version of herself had created what I call an evolved story loop rooted in self-awareness.
Her new story was one of disappointment in handling the controls over to her lizard brain and putting food in her mouth when her evolved brain, her prefrontal cortex, was screaming a very muffled “Noooooooo!!!!! You don’t want that!!!! Remember your plan???”
She was disappointed that she had given in to something she didn't really want.
She didn't really want to eat the high carb meal.
She didn't even really enjoy it as much as she had anticipated she would.
She was disappointed that she had "given in" to the impulse to eat it and that she hadn't managed her mind in the moment.
The next day, another temptation came her way and this time she felt weak and unprepared to manage the urge to eat.
All of the tools she had learned and had been implementing through our coaching sessions seemed to have gone out the window-- powerless in the face of old habits.
What she learned was that she had adopted a victim mentality about food.
She no longer worried about weight gain in the sense that she is no longer confused about what to eat in order to live at her natural weight.
Instead she is living a battle of two brains: her evolved prefrontal brain and her primitive lizard brain.
For us emotional overeaters, it can feel like food overpowers us.
We don’t feel empowered to make the choices that we actually want to make around food because we are operating under the belief that food is somehow stronger than we are.
The result of beating herself up after the "exception" meal with her friend was a weakened sense of power over herself and her food choices.
Remember how your thoughts create your feelings, which in turn creates your actions and then your results?
She had to get out from under her victim mentality and find her power over her own thinking about food.
Because food is neutral.
Cookies are neutral.
Chocolate is neutral.
Wine is neutral.
Fettucini alfredo is neutral (believe it or not).
It is our thinking about it that gives it power.
And therefore it is our thinking that has all the power.
Our thinking is what empowers or disempowers anything and everything.
You can start to work with your thinking and intentionally choose empowering thoughts at anytime.
This is not “positive thinking” or manifestation, but rather a method of managing your mind in ways that are based in results-driven action.
Admittedly this is seemingly more challenging that it actually is so I encourage you to check out my video to learn more.
Make today the day you finally put an end to feeling disempowered around food and ditch the diet drama once and for all.
As for my client? She is back in action!
Working her thoughts and slaying her relationship with food.
Life has never been better.
Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently.