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11/23/2018

Eat, Drink, and Stay Slim: 10 Things I Learned from Living in Spain

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“No lo sabes?” Asked Carmen, my Spanish roomate, while we stood in our tiny kitchen in the middle of our little flat in Madrid.


No lo sabes translates to “Don’t you know that?”-- a phrase Carmen would say to me frequently over the year that I lived with her.

Carmen had decided at some point, probably before she even met me, that it was her responsibility to educate poor little ignorant American girls on the evils of the American diet and to enlighten us with the wonders of Mediterranean gastronomy.

And while she typically trended towards the dramatic, she was pretty on point with her knowledge.

Americans have a ton of mental anguish around their bodies and eating.

Spanish women, on the other hand, barely think about it.

Americans, after all, are constantly struggling with their weight and dieting like their lives depend on it, while the French, Spanish, and Italians are known for quite the opposite.

They enjoy good food and maintain la bella figura effortlessly.

I found this fascinating.

I was a sponge for Carmen’s lessons.

I had moved to Spain with the intention of learning how Spaniards enjoyed food and yet stayed slim. I was hyper aware of the evils of the American diet then and yet, despite eating a very healthy diet, was still overweight.

Carmen was the perfect guide.

And she taught how to cook and answered all of my questions.

She took me out until 5 in the morning to secret flamenco bars where we danced for hours.

On my own I would study people in cafes and restaurants to see what and how they were eating.

Here is what I learned.

  1. Don’t Obsess Over Food. Spanish women are not obsessed with food, nor are they obsessed with their weight. Of course people enjoy food, but it isn’t a big deal. Eat according to tradition, not too much, and move on. No one lives for food or fetishizes it.  I remember a Spanish friend remarking that when she had visited the States she noticed all the food commercials (which in and of itself was foreign-- the Spanish had not advertised food until recent history-- thank you, globalization) where people were always smiling and very happy in those commercials. She didn’t understand the connection of food and happiness and why we would market it that way. She was genuinely baffled. And I was also baffled:  doesn’t food make everyone happy?!?! Aren’t we all obsessed with happiness and eating our way to contentment? Clearly not. Spanish, French, and Italian people enjoy good food, but they don’t have overhunger and overdesire the way we do-- and this says a lot about us versus them. We could stand to learn a lot in that department.
  2. Don’t Be Afraid of Hunger. In Spain and the rest of southern Europe there are strict windows of time in which it is socially acceptable to eat. No one eats lunch, the biggest meal of the day, until 2 PM and you won’t find anyone eating past 4:00. And then dinner begins around 9:00 PM, with very few people eating any earlier than that. What happens in between? Life! La dolce vita! But no snacking, ever. Period. Not ever. No such thing. No such concept. So what happens if you don’t eat enough lunch or miss a meal on accident? You get hungry. And you deal with it. And you eat at the next meal. That’s it. No drama. No freaking out. No panicking or binging or excuse making. It’s just hunger, it will pass, you can handle it, and you will be fine. Move on.
  3. Breakfast is a Non-Event. They either skip breakfast entirely or eat a piece of toast with butter, jam, or olive oil.  Breakfast can happen first thing if one is hungry, or hours after rising-- at say 10:30 or 11. Or again, not at all.Coffee is a standard and usually taken black or with full-fat milk. Yes, I said full fat.That brings me to my next point.
  4. No Such Thing as Lowfat. There is no lowfat anything. Ever. Not yogurt, not milk, not nada. Why would there be? There is no obesity epidemic (or sugar industry mucking everything up, but that is a different post) and therefore people just eat the way they’ve eaten for centuries-- which is eating whole foods, intact with the fat that it comes with. They eat fat like the natural fats from jamon serrano, whole eggs, tons of olive oil, butter in cooking.
  5. Eating is Social. In Spain, lunch is traditionally the main meal of the day but with the modernization of the world this meal is slowly giving way to dinner. People take time out of the day to sit down and eat a full plate of meat, fish, or eggs with vegetables, and maybe a small portion of carbohydrate such as pasta, bread, potato, or rice. People sit down and eat together, slowly and leisurely. In our modern world this tradition is slowly fading out, with people eating sandwiches in front of their computers during lunch, but it is important to note that people are also getting fatter in Spain these days, so this article focuses on traditional practices and not totally up to date ones.
  6. “Nada en Paquete”. Nothing in a package, is what Carmen always used to say. She got her meat from the butcher, her fish from the fishmonger, and her fruits and vegetables from the open air market.  Culture and tradition constranis what people eat. While people will eat lots of variety in terms of protein and vegetables, they do not a ton of items outside of Spanish traditional: Spanish tortilla, meat, vegetable, bread, rice. One of the challenges of the American diet is we have so many options and not a lot of constraint to help us to make decisions. This can lead to decision-overwhelm and choice-fatigue, which can negatively impact our ultimate result.
  7. Sweets are for Children. Sugar is enjoyed by adults on occasion, and in small portions such as jam on toast or a piece of good chocolate a few times each week.
  8. Don’t Diet. Why would you? It is a rare thing that someone is overweight or obsese in the Mediterranean, so the concept of a diet not necessary. When one does need to drop a few pounds, I was told by a stunningly beautiful woman named Pepa, she just eats a little less bread, or maybe cuts it out all together. That’s it. Simple. Clean. No drama mama.
  9. Don’t Exercise. Spanish women move for pleasure. They walk. They dance. They enjoy movement. They certainly don’t sweat buckets at the gym in an attempt to “make up” for overeating or indulging in something that tastes good.
  10. Live La Dolce Vita. Mediterranean women live whole, beautiful lives. They prioritize family, friends, relaxation, creativity, the arts, intellectualism, politics, and travel-- they have time for all of this because they aren’t spending inordinate amounts of time obsessing about food.

We have a lot to learn from Mediterranean gastronomic food traditions, but the most important points are not about the actual gastronomy. Instead we could stand to examine how people think-- and don't think-- about food and how that, in turn, informs how they feel, the actions they then take, and the results they get.

I recommend you pick one thing from the list of 10 to start to implement today. Pick one that feels good to you and go for it.

No drama, mama.

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11/12/2018

pregnancy and weight gain

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Recently a pregnant yoga student of mine told me that, at 16 weeks pregnant, her doctor was concerned that she had gained too much weight.

According to the doctor, she was seven pounds “overweight”.

Seven pounds.

Seven pounds?!?!

With all due respect to doctors, this drives me a little (OK, a lot) bananas.

Doctors told me the same thing when I was pregnant: you need to not gain anymore weight because you are five pounds overweight.

Seriously.

Five pounds.

Here’s the thing: when you are pregnant, you get to just be pregnant.

Just be pregnant.

Don’t worry about weight gain.

Because you can always, always lose it after baby arrives.

No matter what other people tell you.

And everyone will freak you out telling you that they “still” haven’t lost their baby weight and it’s been 25 years, blah blah blah.

And all the “pre-baby body” media bullshit that infiltrates our lives will make us think this is some kind of problem that needs solving-- that pregnancy is a problem that needs solving.

That our bodies are problems that need solving.

And the anxiety and fear and compulsion sets in.

And the vicious cycle keeps on rolling.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Just be pregnant.

Listen to your body.

Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are not.

Eat food. Mostly plants.

If you can.

And if you can’t or won’t, that’s totally OK.

Because you are the Boss of you.

Pregnant women are the Boss with a capital B.

You get to do whatever the hell you want-- including gain weight.

Because that is what your body is supposed to do.

Gain weight.

Without worry.

And when you have your baby and get settled in, you can come back to yourself and create a body you feel good in.

It is totally possible.

It’s just a choice.

And it is a choice that YOU get to make.
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11/7/2018

Exceptions Vs. Excuses: How to tell the difference

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Eliminating sugar and flour is a total game changer when it comes to managing my hunger and overeating.

My body is no longer writhing with an overproduction of insulin, screwing everything up.

Planning and committing to a meal capsule has changed everything about the way I eat and the results I get in terms of weight loss.

Meal capsules and planning ahead have simplified my life in ways I’d never imagined possible and are now habits that I will practice for the rest of my life.

Eating food, mostly plants, not too much (as the Michael Pollan mantra goes) has become a way of life.

But of course, I make exceptions.

And learning how to make exceptions without derailing your goals takes time to master.

Because there is a difference between exceptions and excuses. ​

Learning the difference between an exception and an excuse is critical for weight loss, but also critical for accomplishing every single goal that you make in your life.

Our prefrontal cortex, the evolved part of our brain, is designed for executive functioning. Things like planning and judgement happen here.

When you use your prefrontal cortex to plan what you are going to do ahead of time you override your animal brain impulses to eat something that doesn’t serve you when the opportunity arises.

For example, if I planned in the morning to eat a salad for lunch, wrote it down, and committed to that plan and then a colleague approached me with fresh, warm slice of pizza leftover from a meeting, I am going to say no thank you.

​Because I already made and committed to my plan ahead of time and am prepared for temptations such as this one.


I would experience no, or very minimal, mental drama around this.

But if I hadn’t planned ahead, if I’d just had a vague idea that I might eat a salad but that I’d see what the options were/what looked good and decide then, my animal brain would’ve chimed in loudly:
  • Eat the pizza!
  • It looks so good!
  • You never eat pizza!
  • Just this once… come on…
  • You will work it off later…
  • Go for a run when you get home or hit up an extra power yoga class this week…
  • It’s no big deal…
  • Everyone else is eating it!
  • It’s your favorite-- combo! You never get combo...
  • Just one piece…

And it is very likely that I would, in fact, eat the pizza.

And then I would feel like shit.

And then I would spend the rest of the day obsessing about how I was going to “make it up” with exercise or by eating a “zero point” vegetable soup for dinner or planning to go Paleo or signing up for Weight Watchers, again.

All that wasted mental and emotional energy!!

All for a stupid piece of pizza that wasn’t even that great!

Or, even if it was pretty great, definitely wasn’t worth the mental aftermath.

Totally. Not. Worth. It.

And totally not me, anymore.
​

Exceptions vs. excuses

Your animal brain is a ninja when it comes to making very convincing excuses.

Planning a meal capsule and committing to it wards off those excuses and leaves you feeling well-prepared for the landmine of food temptations that are sure to be hurled your way each day.

But that doesn’t mean you can never have pizza again, if you want it.

You can.

As long as you plan it ahead of time.

That way you are using your prefrontal cortex to make decisions that serve you, and not your animal brain that tends to screw up all of your long term goals.

The difference between an exception and an excuse is that you use your evolved brain to make exceptions, and you use your animal brain to make excuses.

So go ahead and eat your favorite combo pizza.

Just plan for it and write it down 24 hours ahead of time.

And, this is the kicker, you have to like your reason for making the exception.
 
An exception is
  1. Deciding ahead of time that there is an experience you want to have
  2. Liking your reason for deciding to make that exception
  3. Choosing it intentionally

Ask yourself the following two questions to determine whether you made an exception or an excuse.

  1. Did you plan ahead of time to make this exception?
    1. If the answer is yes, move on to the next question.
    2. If the answer is no, you are likely making an excuse.
  2. Do you like your reason for making the exception?
    1. If the answer is yes, and you planned it ahead of time, then congratulations! You made a legit exception.
    2. If the answer is no, then you are making an excuse for sure.

For me, exceptions are linked to larger experiences like celebrating Christmas eve with my family while enjoying my mother’s seafood pasta that she only makes once a year, recalling decades of memories around the table together. Or making homemade fettuccine noodles with my father and son on Christmas day, watching as old, wrinkled hands guide little, smooth ones to turn the crank and sprinkle the flour.

I like my reasons to participate in this way.

No overindulgence.

No fetishizing of food.

No binging, frenetic eating, kid in a candy store wild child.

No excuses.

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    Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently. 

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