What does it mean to be an emotional eater, anyway?

An emotional eater is someone who frequently eats in response to how they feel rather than in response to physical hunger. 

Learning to tell the difference between emotional and  physical hunger-- and then only eating when you are physically hungry-- is key to permeant weight loss.

So how do you know if you are an emotional eater? Check out the list below.

1. You have a "big appetite". 
2. You are hungry more often than your friends and colleagues.
3. You tend to continue eating even when your stomach is clearly signaling your brain that it is full.
4. You often feel too full after eating.
5. You often wish you had not eaten so much.
6. You often regret what you ate or how much you ate.
7. You spend a lot of time thinking about food.
8. You worry about getting hungry.
9. You overeat to avoid getting hungry later.
10. You get a LOT of pleasure from eating food-- more than other people you know. 
11. When you feel happy, or want to feel happy, you automatically think about what you will eat to celebrate.
12. When you feel a negative emotion like stress, anger, anxiety, or sadness you think that certain foods (ice cream, fettuccine alfredo, chips, etc.) will make you feel better.
13. When you've had a hard day you think that you "deserve" to eat something comforting.
14. You have really strong cravings for salty, sweet, or comfort foods.
15. You are overweight.
16. You've tried every diet on the planet and nothing "works".
17. You wake up with tons of dedication to eat less and eat "right" but by evening you've come undone.
18. You always take seconds.
19. You pick at the leftovers or your partner's/kids' plates even after you've finished your meal.
20. You exercise to "make-up" for what you ate. 
21. You feel guilt or shame often (always?) during and after eating.
22. People have commented on how much or how often you eat.
23. Even though you eat "healthy" foods, you are still overweight.
24. You feel a compulsion to eat when you feel a strong emotion like stress or anxiety.
25. You find yourself eating even when you don't want to be eating, but you just can't seem to stop yourself.

I get it. I used to be an emotional eater, too. 

It sucks. 

When unwanted urges govern your actions you aren't in control and your excess weight is the visible proof of it.

Once I got my hormones in check and started to manage my mind, I shed 30 lbs. with far greater ease than ever before-- and I've kept it off.

I can teach you how. 

Managing your mind requires that you know what is going on in there first.

And that can be scary. 

​But remember, you can do hard things. 

Think of it like a basement that you keep putting stuff in without any real plan or purpose. If you ever want to put that space to good use you are going to need to sort and organize to determine what you want to keep and what you don't, and then purge what is no longer serving you.

The trick to doing this effectively is, in true Marie Kondo style, you'll first need to see what you have (Kondo recommends pulling everything out of your closet, for example, and putting it in a pile to sort it through as opposed to going piece-by-piece from inside your closet) by compiling it all together and then holding each thought in your hands, so to speak, and asking yourself whether or not this thought "sparks joy" or, in non-Kondo terms, whether the thought is serving you by getting you the results you want.  
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It may be useful to do this at the same time everyday. For me, I do it first thing in the morning when I wake up. I sit down with my coffee and see what my brain is up to today.

​You can also do it during the day when something troubling comes up. For example, I had a client who had completely given up sugar and flour and all of the sudden she was experiencing strong sugar cravings after lunch at work so  she grabbed her journal and wrote about it.

Using the tools I taught her, she figured out that she craves sugar when she feels tired and stressed and after lunch is the peak time for those two emotions at her high-powered job at a large law firm. Feeling tired and stressed are two deeply uncomfortable emotions so in an attempt to avoid them she would eat sugar to cover them up.

Of course, giving in to the sugar urge just made things worse because she was still tired and stressed after eating it, and now her brain had to manage the stress and disappointment of eating foods that sabotage her weight loss goals, in addition to the original work-related stress and tiredness. 

She learned this about herself, and was able to overcome it by deciding on purpose to do so, by having the courage to look at her thoughts in the Thought Flow. 

And you can learn this about yourself, too.

So get started.

Right now.

​Go find a piece of paper or a blank journal (don't wait until you've found the perfect journal-- start now!) and let your thoughts pour out of you like water. ​

Now that you've written down the good, the bad, and the ugly what do you do with all of that?

Sift and sort.

Go back and read through what you wrote.

Take special note of the thoughts that stand out to you most. The ones that are most painful or troubling.

That is the stuff you want to work with.

From here you are going to plug it in to what I call a Thought Sequence*. A Thought Sequence is a framework that allows you to see exactly how your thoughts are mandating the results you're getting, and what you can do to change that.

Stay tuned for my next post, DIY Thought Sequence, to learn how to do it. 

Or sign up right now for a free 30 minute mini session over the phone and I can teach it to you right there.
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*Master Coach Brooke Castillo calls this "The Model"

Every single action you take in your life is the result of a thought.

Every. Single. One.

The action to hit the snooze button and skip yoga class this morning? That started as a thought.

The action to get in your car and go to work? Another thought.

That chocolate cookie you ate in the staff break room earlier this week? Again, a thought preceded that action. 

Getting mad at your boo for leaving a huge mess in the kitchen for you to clean up (again!!). Believe it or not, that irritation (maybe rage is a better descriptor?) was preceded by a thought.

What does it have to do with overeating?

The thoughts we all have trigger an emotion-- happy, sad, angry, scared-- which then triggers an action.

If you are an emotional overeater, when you have a negative thought ("I have so much work to do it feels like I'll never get it all done.") it triggers a negative emotion (fear of not meeting expectations at work) which then triggers an action intended to numb that emotion (eat a sweet, chocolaty cookie in the break room even though you told yourself you wouldn't eat anymore sugar because you are serious about losing 40 lbs)​.

The result of that action is likely

1. Weight gain
2. Self-loathing/disappointment/frustration

Every action leads to result. No matter what.

The result, however, will always be one of two options: the one you want, or the one you don’t.  ​

Action: Eat the cookies in the break room
Result: Weight gain 

Action: Walk away from the cookies in the break room
Result: Weight maintenance or loss

Either way, there is a result from your action.

The thing most people don't realize is that they can choose which option they get, and it has nothing to do with willpower.

Every single time you take action you are choosing the result you get-- you are choosing the result you want or the result you don't want.
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I will be the first to admit that this is easier said than done. I'm not preaching manifestation magic here, but rather becoming conscious about your thoughts and how they effect your life, and then getting really intentional about the results (and thoughts!!) that you get.

If you want to learn more about how to actually start managing your mind, sign up for a free mini session with me and I will get you up and running in about 30 minutes. 

While the reasons people usually fail at weight loss are multifactorial, one reason is the most prominent and impactful of all. 

Before we dive in to that #1 reason people fail at weight loss (and what to do about it, of course) let's recap where we've been.

In part one of this three-part series we explored your compelling reason for wanting to lose weight. That is, the reason that is bigger and better than the reasons you want to eat flour and sugar.

Next, in part two, I discussed the importance of deciding on purpose and committing to that decision. No. Matter. What. I also gave you three critical steps to achieve your weight loss goals.

If you missed either one of those go back and check them out. All three posts explain critical factors to your successful weight loss.

And now, the moment you've been "weighting" for...
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