I had tried everything.
And I was pissed about it.
Because the everything I tried never worked.
So I decided to try acceptance.
That seemed like the right thing for a feminist to do, right?
In theory, I loved the idea.
In reality, acceptance ended up looking like an underlying discomfort with how my body looked and felt, coupled by guilt for not loving my heavy body enough.
The discomfort and guilt resulted in an active ignoring of my body.
Covering it up with billowy clothes.
Avoiding bathing suits and summer clothes that allowed my body to be sun-kissed like it deserved to be.
I wrestled with the thought that maybe this is just the way my body is going to look after having a kid.
I’ve almost always been in the overweight category of the BMI, so why would that change now?
Acceptance was easier than fighting.
And I had fought.
Fought my body.
Fought with food.
And lost the battle every time.
Even when progress was made and a few pounds were lost, they always came back, often with friends in the form of additional pounds.
Acceptance of my weight didn’t change my relationship with food.
I was still obsessed.
Anxious about whether I was eating the “right” foods and how much.
I didn’t trust my body.
I didn’t trust my hunger.
Something was off.
I was too hungry too often.
So when I stumbled across a podcast that asked the question what does it feel like to eat 2-to-2 on the hunger scale, I decided to try it.
And this was the day everything changed for me.
Decades of overeating were about to come to an end with the introduction to this one tool.
I lost seven pounds in the first few weeks of eating this way.
I learned a few more tools, got some good coaching, and more than thirty pounds later I weigh less than I weighed in high school.
No bullshit acceptance or guilt.
I’ve taught this tool to my weight loss clients, and I’d love to teach it to you, too.
Sign up for a free 30 minute mini session and I can teach it to you right over the phone.
What are you waiting for?
It's free, and it's a life changer.
What could be better?
I see you over there.
Hiding behind your shield of shame and embarrassment from the perpetual cycle of overeating.
Your pants are too tight.
You keep pulling your oversized t-shirt out from the rolls in your belly when you sit down.
You feel like everyone is staring at you and your back fat.
You shift from hip to hip, uncomfortable in your own skin-- oversized and on public display.
And of course, spring is here.
Which means summer is coming.
And you haven’t lost any weight from that New Year’s Resolution-- well, maybe a few pounds but somehow they’ve found you again.
If only you could stop eating chocolate/ sugar/ carbs/ wine/ food...
I get it.
I see you.
And it kills me to watch you wither underneath your own discomfort.
Because what I see in you is a woman who is a game-changer.
Who is meant to be somebody.
A role model.
An example of what’s possible.
A woman who has so much more to offer than half-assed contributions that are choked by her own self-consciousness and self-loathing.
I see a mother and a leader who is ready to rise up and take her scared, confused, and overwhelmed self by the hand and make massive change in her life.
I see that in you.
And I am not wrong.
So I ask you:
What are you waiting for?
Why are you waiting to make a change?
Why not try something different than you’ve ever tried before.
If you want a different result, you have to act differently.
But you must act.
I can help you.
I have a program that gets results every time and clients who are losing weight as I type this.
My program will not only get you the results you are after, but will permanently end the food and weight drama in your head.
Imagine a life where you no longer worried, stressed, and fretted about what to eat and what not to; a life where you knew for sure your pants would fit; a world where putting on a bathing suit at the beach felt amazing!
What is that worth to you?
For me it has been priceless.
Some of my clients start losing weight the same week they start with me.
Some have taken a bit longer.
But every single one has lost weight and chipped away-- or slayed!-- their diet drama.
Every single one has been empowered by their own ability to make real, lasting changes with their relationship with food and the numbers on the scale.
There is a way out of the cycle you are currently in.
You can stop overeating.
You can stop overdrinking.
I can help.
Start by setting up a free mini-session-- there is nothing to lose there.
I know you are busy.
You say you don’t have the time.
But I’ll tell you, you don’t have the time for the drama about food and weight, either.
And yet you are spending tons of time on that shit.
Instead you can roll up your sleeves, learn something new, and be done!
Talk about a time saver.
But don’t take my word for it.
See for yourself.
Come dip your toe in the water with a free mini session and see how different your life could be.
Your freedom (and bikini) awaits!
In this post I am going to share with you one of the most powerful secrets to ending your battle with food and losing weight for good.
That secret is prioritizing exquisite self-care.
I’m not talking about making sure you are hitting the gym three times a week or getting your nails done (unless that kind of thing floats your boat-- if so, please be my guest!).
I’m talking about getting real with what brings you pure, unadulterated pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment, and committing to infusing that into your life.
What does this have to do with weight loss?
Let’s start from the beginning:
We women have spent so much time, maybe even our entire lives, trying to beat the excess weight off ourselves.
We've suffered through excruciating exercise regimens we hated and countless diets and cleanses that brought about significant anxiety and effort, in support of the belief that suffering is the only path to get the results we want.
No pain no gain, right?!?!
How’s that been working for you?
My guess is that if you are reading this, it hasn’t.
The notion that we have to suffer in order to get what we want is total bullshit.
The way to get the results you want isn’t through self-flagellation.
It’s the opposite.
When you care for yourself relentlessly, you lose weight and keep it off as a by-product of that nurturing.
Because the only reason you have unwanted weight in the first place is because you are turning to food to find pleasure, fulfillment and nurturing-- none of which food can give you.
But here’s the tricky part: you have to know what true self-care is for you.
Many of my clients have never spent the time to think seriously about what brings them fulfillment and pleasure-- especially if they’ve coupled up, produced some babies, and are bosses in their professional lives.
When we talk about self-care, commonly they think of getting a massage, getting their hair or nails done, or going to a yoga class.
But the thing is, these examples do not feel like self-care for everyone.
For example, while I love having manicured nails, I hate getting them done. I hate sitting in the nail salon, I hate the feeling (guilt, embarrassment) of someone digging funk out of my toe nails, I hate how long it takes and then having to wait for it to dry. I would rather be doing about 100 other things. Getting my nails done is not nourishing in any way-- I just like the result. I also see it as a professional obligation so it feels more like work than personal pleasure.
On the other hand, a really good yoga class with one of my favorite teachers is deeply fulfilling and nourishing for me. Magical even. Total self-care, hands down.
But for my sister? Not so much. Going to a yoga class would be uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking-- the opposite of self-care.
When you figure out what true self-care is for you and you incorporate it into your daily life you will find that you turn less to food to alleviate anxiety, stress, boredom, or unfulfillment.
People like to argue with me about this.
They think if they are kind to themselves, if they accept and love themselves for who they are and take themselves on dates and participate in restorative yoga classes and lounge around in their PJs all day on Sunday reading the New York Times while snuggling with their littles on the couch-- that they will turn into fat, lazy beasts eating cookie dough ice cream out of the tub after having eaten a wheel of cheese and guzzled a bottle of chardonnay.
So when they do do those things-- take it easy in yoga class, spend an indulgent Saturday morning alone with a good book or journal, or stay in their PJs all day-- their lizard brain has a hay day with fear based thoughts of self-loathing: “I wasted the morning. I’m so lazy. I should have gone to the gym. I have no discipline.”
And what do we emotional eaters do when we have self-loathing thoughts?
We head to the freezer for that tub of ice cream or that block of cheese, proving our lizard brain right.
Ready to indulge is real self-care, personalized for you?
Follow these steps and you will find yourself glowing with nourishment, instead of bloated with overeating.
Give yourself the gift of self-care.
Because you deserve it, because you are human.
And remember, the more self-care you give yourself that is unrelated to food, the less you will use food to nurture the need for self-care that all humans have.
We all have numerous beliefs through which we see the world, every day.
Some of these beliefs are so old we were practically born with them.
They came from our our origin: our fetal and childhood circumstances, our parents, our culture.
Beliefs about family, security, money, love, emotions, food, politics.
Other beliefs we’ve collected along the way.
And we think beliefs are true, right?
I mean, that’s kind of what a belief is? ... truths based on evidence?
While beliefs are truths for those who believe them, beliefs are not facts.
Beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over.
And it becomes a belief.
All beliefs start as thoughts.
And all thoughts are optional.
As the saying goes, whether you think you can or you can’t—both are true.
If you think you’ll never be able to lose weight, you won’t.
If you think you will never meet the love of your life, you won’t.
If you think your ship sailed when you were 26, it did.
On the flip side, if you think you will be able to lose weight or meet the love of your life-- and you take action to do so-- you will.
The difference between the two thoughts is that the former is a limiting belief--one that prevents you from moving in the direction you want to go.-- and the latter is expansive, inspiring action that gets you the results you are after.
For example, if you want to have a more money but you think that money is a problem for you, that's a limiting belief.
Or if you want to stop binge drinking on the weekends but you think you’ll be boring without boozing it up with your homegirls, that's a limiting belief.
Limiting beliefs are those that steer you away from your goals and you think they are true.
Those thoughts, all those thoughts, are optional.
You might be saying, “But Lia, I have had the thought that I would be able to lose weight, I took action by starting a diet, and I didn’t lose the weight permanently. WTF?!?!”
The answer there is that you had the inspired thought but limiting beliefs came up along the way that thwarted your results.
Thoughts like “I’ve been good all week, I’m going to splurge tonight and eat/drink what I want.” or “It’s not working-- I’ve only lost 2 lbs in 3 weeks.”
It is these sneaky thoughts that get in the way of your goals.
The sooner you acknowledge those thoughts and treat them, the sooner you’ll get the results you want--and more.
When I learned that each and every thought we have is optional, I felt like I’d just been told the secret to the universe.
What do you mean each and every thought we have is optional?!?!
That meant that I didn’t have to live at the mercy of truths of my own making.
I get to choose what is true, for me.
How empowering is that?!?!
What are your limiting beliefs?
Where is your thinking holding you back from being the person you most deeply want to be? From living the life you crave?
I’ll give you a hint: most people have limiting beliefs around money, relationships, work, and health.
Identifying, analyzing, and eliminating your limiting beliefs is the first step towards creating the life you crave.
It is my hope that you take me up on this one.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” --The Buddha
In this post I am going to teach you how to get the results you are after by changing the way you think.
I teach a specific tool to all of my clients called The Model which was created by master coach instructor Brooke Castillo.
The concept for the tool is ancient, going back all the way to the Buddha and beyond.
Here’s how it works.
Every result you have in your life is born from your thinking.
Your thoughts create your feelings which in turn create your actions which in turn create your results.
The result proves the thought true for you.
For example, you think: I’ll always be fat.
You feel defeated.
You eat the chocolate cake-- because why not? You’re not losing weight anyway…
The result you get-- you are always fat.
Thought created result.
Result proved thought.
You think: See, I’m always fat!
The cycle repeats itself, over and over.
Rinse and Repeat.
Clearly, if your thinking creates your results, you just need to change your thinking.
It’s that simple.
The tricky part is, you can’t just change your thoughts to get new results.
You have to believe new thoughts.
And it’s not a matter of just doing some chanting and visualizing and KABOOM! New thoughts believed, new results achieved!
It is a matter of rolling up your sleeves and taking a good hard look at what you are currently thinking-- really thinking, about the results you are getting.
And thoughts are sneaky.
Many of your thoughts about your body, food, money, relationships, and self-worth you’ve had since childhood.
Your brain like to be efficient to conserve energy, so it has created neural pathways for thoughts you think a lot, like “I’ll always be fat.” or “I’m bad with money.”
It replays those thoughts over and over so that you get good at it-- so good that it can relegate that thought to your lower, primal brain so that it becomes automatic.
Talk about efficiency! Nothing more efficient than automaticity.
Once that happens, we have those thoughts automatically-- and often subconsciously.
That’s right-- we don’t even know we are thinking what we are thinking.
Those are the golden nugget thoughts-- the dark, dirty, negative thoughts that we aren’t conscious of.
Those are the thoughts we need to mine and sift through, dig up and examine.
How to get started
Some example thoughts are
My body won’t always be fat.
My body can lose weight.
My body is losing weight.
My body will lose weight.
My body is functioning perfectly.
Notice how those thoughts are empowering versus disempowering.
They inspire action versus deflated action.
Write it down.
Practice thinking it every day.
And then-- most importantly-- take action.
Take action before you believe the thought.
Take massive, inspired action over and over and over.
And watch the thought come true.
Because it is in taking the action from the developing belief that you prove the belief true.
Simple, but not easy.
But remember, you can do hard things.
In fact, the deepest satisfaction we get in our lives is from getting results from doing hard things, not easy things.
So get to work, sister.
The life you’ve been craving is waiting for you on the other side.
Lia Pinelli is a weight loss coach and educator who helps women put an end to emotional overeating and lose weight, permanently.